Texas and Florida Lawmakers Unveil Revolutionary "Fry an Egg" Energy Conservation Plan

In a bold bipartisan move that has climate scientists shaking their heads and chickens nervously clucking, Texas and Florida lawmakers have unveiled …

White Refugees Deported to Venezuela After Failing to Assimilate

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what immigration experts are calling “the ultimate plot twist,” the United States has begun deporting white refugees …

Health Secretary Declares War on Autism Using Controversial Vaccines

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a press conference that left both medical experts and anti-vaxxers equally flabbergasted, Health Secretary Dr. Evelyn Wainwright …

Florida Bans Fluoride, Replaces with Corn Syrup in Bold Move for Sweeter, More Patriotic Teeth

TALLAHASSEE, FL — In a groundbreaking decision that has dentists shaking their heads and soda companies popping champagne, Florida Governor Ron …

Executive Order Allows Smoking on Planes, Citing "Freedom to Fume"

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move that has left public health officials, airline executives, and non-smoking passengers gasping for air, President Chester …